if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
