lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
