If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You took a bar mat shot.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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