i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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