his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
