You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
