The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
