I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
