I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
