I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
