I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
