I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
