mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
