these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
