so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Let's get the cat blown out
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
