remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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