We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He has the fingertips of a God
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