He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
