Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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