he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
