I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
We just shotgunned beers for America
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
