i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
