glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
