the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
