using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
