dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize