Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
