Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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