im having a threesome with these popsicles
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You took a bar mat shot.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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