Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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