I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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