One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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