My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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