So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.