Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
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