she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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