end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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