just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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