btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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