God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize