My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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