Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize