he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
