It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
