it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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