i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
