the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
