Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
