Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize