The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize