FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
