i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
