no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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