i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
