you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
