don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
