We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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