I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize