Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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