clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
