I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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