What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
