I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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