please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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