Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize