Can Purell be used as lube?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
